Charisma, a subtle ingredient found in most successful leaders who have the ability to attract and draw faithful followers. Yet many believe Charisma is inborn, an innate quality that you naturally possess or you don’t. If you don’t, you lack a competitive edge to influence others as compared to those who do. Charisma, charm & a positive personality is contagious, and it attracts people to you like a magnet.

Self- confidence

When you feel self-confident, you naturally carry with you a level of charisma & charm to the forefront. To get self-confidence going for you every morning, start with dressing for the part you want. If you are leaving for work, dressing up professionally not only makes you look good & feel great, you are more apt to conduct & present yourself in a professional manner. Chances are when you feel good about yourself; you will do your best & hence be more confident.

Maintain Your Focus

Maintain your focus & refuse to allow yourself to be distracted by issues other than the task at hand. This is crucial especially when you want to actively listen to your customers, their challenges, needs & wants. For instance, when speaking to your clients over the telephone, do not read your emails at the same time. Active listening requires your full & uninterrupted attention. Remember you are not in a meeting to give a sales pitch, you are there to help your customers solve their problems or achieve their objectives, & you cannot do so until you know what it is.

Interest & Attitude

Psychologists have researched for years and found that people are attracted to you when you share the same attitude about life, such as parenting, work ethics, values & philosophy, relationships, welfare, legislation, even movies, smoking & drinking. It affirms a person’s ability to be sensible, to interpret the world correctly, and to make good predictions about the future. People naturally assume that those who share similar interest and attitude will like them, which in turn make them like you. So see if you can look deeper & find where you agree rather than disagree. Everyone prefers to hear that ‘you are right’ rather than ‘you are wrong’.

Responding to others

“People do not want to be sold a product or service. They want to deal with people who they think have their interest or who CARE about them."

- J. Oliver Crom, CEO, Dale Carnegie

Showing people, however subtly that you find them unique & interesting makes them feel good about themselves, and thus they feel good about you. Giving people your full attention builds a momentary exclusive world of ‘you & me’. Some easy ways to show attraction is through eye contact, a warm handshake and displaying special interest & appreciation in others.

Reaching out

Another way of showing attraction or interest is with touch. Subtle touches are good if you are careful & sensitive about the norms as to what is appropriate and comfortable to most people. People generally like to be touched likely even in non-romantic settings. A gentle, light & sincere touch somewhere between the shoulder and hand such as the elbow area can have a powerful positive impact on your feeling about that person even when he or she is a stranger. When meeting someone the first time, you can touch others casually as a gesture to get their attention, or to direct their attention somewhere else. The message usually is: I like you & I am a warm person. However, we need to exercise caution that going overboard may make others feel uncomfortable resulting in an adverse effect. 

Be comfortable in your own skin

Your self-image & how you feel about yourself shows in how you carry yourself, your posture and your gait. You can hear your own voice but you can’t see your own mannerisms and body the way others can. Hence you need to be conscious of your physical presence and the way you hold yourself because your body movement & body language are ‘tracked’ by other people which you may not be aware. Avoid displaced energy such as fidgeting and nervous movements e.g. shaking your legs or playing with your pen. Being comfortable with who you are with confidence is how you want to be perceived. When you practice good mannerism & dress appropriately for the occasion, you will feel your best hence present yourself positively. In turn others will feel good in your presence & thus find you more attractive!